I started school back in September of last year in order to obtain my Masters in Business. Everything was going well with that until January of this year, when my mother had a stroke. Talk about a heart breaking situation. It was so hard to see your mom doing so well one day and then the very next day completely be unalbe to walk or talk very clearly. This was especially hard considering I almost lost her before I was married 3 years ago due to gastric bypass and posioning of her blood system.
Thankfully she survived the stroke and is continuing to get better. Most of the paralysis has healed. She is walking again and even driving. Her speech is very clear and her face is no longer drawn. They just told her that she would probably only get 60% of the use of her hand back recently. That was another heart wrenching thing for her and for me as well. I want my mom back the way she was. Maybe that is selfish. So, I continue to ask prayers for her. I know God can heal her because he has thus far. I told her not to listen to what the therapist said about her hand coming back...that he was not God and he has no way of fulling knowing if this was the case.
Now here it is October, I have 7 more weeks of school left before I'll be done. I cannot wait for the day. I honestly at times wish I wouldn't have began this program, especially knowing what I know now. I am unsure if it will truely benefit me. I guess I've come to realize the important things in life aren't school and education, but family, friends, and God. Granted education is important, but I just hate that I've had to miss some valuable time I needed with my family during this very hard year.
With school being almost finished I hope that we can start work on creating a family. It's been on my mind so much lately. I'm not sure why unless God has placed it there. I realize I am getting older and my window of opportunity is becoming very narrow for the chance of pregnancy. I worry that if I am to get pregnant that mom will not be able to do the things she has always wanted to do for her new grandchild. I worry that it will break her heart that she cannot hold it, but only with one arm. I worry way to much!
I also really want to find a home church for my family. Husband and I have never been on a regular basis to church other than when we first got married. It was nice there, but I just didn't feel like we fit in. I really want to find a church that teaches the truth and is a good environment to raise a child and has good programs for adults as well. I pray God will lead my husband and I both to the same church. I want to be active members so badly. I'd love to have that support system.
On a brighter note, my husband and I have both lost weight. We are both using weight watchers and it's amazing the results that we have seen. I am down 18.5 lbs (still above my wedding weight) and hubs is down like 25-30 lbs. He looks amazing. He is actually below his wedding weight. I've got 10 lbs to go to make my wedding weight and 6 more to go to make my "when I met my hubs" weight. I'm so proud of us. I've even started a running program and have been doing it daily.
Well, I guess I'm off to bed now. Much to do this week. With school finishing up they have bombarded us with tons of homework. Pray that I make it through this. Pray for my mom as well. And also pray that we will be able to conceive a healthy child.
Good night all :)
